No letting go

Name three excuses -- stories you tell yourself that are holding you back -- that you are going to let go of in 2013.

The great thing about life is that you grow every year because of the experiences you have had, the life you have led. It all becomes part of us in some way or other. Some parts loom huge, and guide us forward. Other parts, not so big, and affect us maybe like a mosquito bite that annoyed us, we scratched it, and it went away. So, I am challenged to do two things for next year.

One, ignore the mosquito bites of this year. They are gone and should fade in memory, no longer affecting me in any way. For me, this is just about every sports story, every TV show, every meal that did not have an interactive element with another person, every bad night's sleep, and countless other little things that really have no bearing on today. I really can't blame these things for the way I have been or will be. (Some one else may be able to do so.)

And two, look at the parts of my life that loomed so huge that they are still affecting me, and decide how much they will affect my life in the coming year.

And to be honest with myself, and everybody (the everybody would know that I am lying if I didn't say this) there is only one: the death of my love, my partner, my spouse.

This is huge. You don't just shrug your shoulders and say "Oh well!" You remember her, the time leading up to her passing, her greatness, her smile, thousands of things, forever. Even things you forgot, you start to remember. And this you carry forward, not just in memory, but in your very being.

So, I move forward into 2013, with my story of a lifetime, and no excuses. Last year was a year to remember and cherish. It affected me deeply, and I am sure many others. (I know others have experienced similar loss.) The EVENT of 2012 will be my excuse for doing more, and loving more. It will be used to strengthen me in the face of difficulty; it will provide a well of joyful remembrances and inspiration for years and years to come.